Friday, December 10, 2010

the Tops and Bottoms of Dating: Part 3


1. It is never alright to hit up your ex's friend on Grindr. Especially if the relationship ended badly. Have some fucking dignity and self-respect! Wait about 3 months and then go for it! My friends advise me otherwise...

2. Figure out your own bottom line/ deal breaker before you ask it to the person you are on a date with, because more than likely he will ask you too.

3. Always keep clothing ready in your car, just in case you do spend the night (don't worry I am not judging you for the fact that you spent the night at someone's place and probably had sex with them on the first date). Especially if you have to work in the morning. You don't want to wear the same outfit twice in a row (meaning you worked and then went out and had sex all night and then had to be back at work the next morning...dirty).

4. If it is someone you are seriously dating/hanging out with, just leave clothes at their place. But not in a creepy How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days sort of way.

5. Blow jobs on the first date are not real sex, really I have done the leg work and asked around.

6. Don’t label it a date unless you both call it a date, because then you are just left wondering if you are hanging out. Which leads to stressing out about do I kiss him, do I hold his hand, do I go in first, do I bottom for him, is he a top. See it is already getting confusing!

7. If you meet up with someone random either at your local gay bar, Adam4Adam,, ManHunt, Craigslist (m4m)…the list goes on, please advise your friends where you are. They worry, so don’t be ashamed to tell them that you met someone and you are hooking up in your car down the hill for a quick blowjob.

8. Spotting me across the bar, giving me a wink and a nudge to the bathroom, then buying me a few drinks afterwards and dancing like we are in some rap video while we slobber all over each other face does not constitute a date.

9. Asking me before hand to meet you at the bar and do all of these things does constitute a date.

10. Profile pics should be of your face and not your cock. Because my face will not be spending most of the night down there, I should at least know who is paying for the damn dinner.


  1. Tops and Bottoms Part 2:

    "9. If it doesn't work out with the guy, you can now date his friends."

    This contradicts #1 above. So which is it?

  2. that's just it, I learned the lesson, so number 9 is gone, number 1 is better!

  3. You contradict yourself in #1. First you say its never alright, then you say wait 3 months. Do you proof read this at all before you post it on the internet? Maybe have someone else read it first so it makes sense.

  4. well it isn't alright, but if you are going to do it, let time pass...3 months is the magic number.

  5. what makes 3 months the magic number? you said its NEVER alright.

  6. if you want to date my friend, go ahead already!

  7. I dont want to date your friend, I want you to clarify your position on #1! I don't even know your friend!