Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Single and Fabulous:
single gay men doing it on their own

Name: Nicco Martinez
Sign: Sagittarius
Age: 23
Occupation: Bar Owner
Status: Single
Type: Young, twink, Latino boys
Words of Wisdom: "Have ambition, have drive, and self-confidence"

The bar, Ibiza, lies in the corner of a shopping plaza in Huntington Beach, blink once and you might miss it. I sat at the bar having a Stella Artois (my favorite) while I waited for Nicco to rap up a phone call. Out he comes wearing plaid shorts, and a V-neck, casual comfortable cool for the OC. He shoots over to the bar and greets me and then back on the phone, keys in hand..."Hey do you want to go with me to pick up my car from being serviced? I can use you for the carpool." From the get go I knew this would be the best interview!

We hop into his loaner BMW and off we speed.

The Man Behind the Bar
Nicco is not your average run of the mill guy who opened a bar to just run a bar. He lives for it, he feels it, he has a vision and a dream. Running a bar, a gay one at that, in a conservative town means a lot of press, upheaval, and well, haters! Like most, Nicco started off as a bartender at one of the local Long Beach clubs. But it wasn't long before he knew that he could run the best bar/club in town. Shortly after working at MetroQ, one of the few local gay clubs in the area, Nicco decided it was time...time to show what he had.

Nicco retained Ibiza Bar through a previous bar owner. His goal for this club is to be a place where the locals go and hang out, a regular gay ol' Cheers!

Nicco's Rules to Dating
Driving down the 405S we discussed matters of dating. As he perused the radio stations he finally settled on some latin dance music, his favorite. Well aware of my posts, the Tops and Bottoms of Dating, I had asked Nicco what were his standard rules, if any.

1. Biggest pet peeve, flakes. If you say you are going to meet or do anything, whether in dating or business, be on time and don't flake out. Sometimes a common occurrence with gay men.

2. Don't ask what the other person will buy you or where he will take you out.

3. Be yourself on a date and let your guard down. Be calm, be mellow, be you!

4. Don't talk about what you hate in a guy. It makes you sound negative. Instead talk about what you want in a guy or what you want to do in your life. Focus on the positive!

5. Never date your customers/patrons.

6. The most important rule is have ambition, have drive, and over all self-confidence. Everything else will fall into place.

Family, Love, and Relationships
Working in the bar industry you would think that it is impossible to have a semblance of a normal life; one which includes dating, having a relationship, or even keeping up with family. You would also leap to the idea that a bar owner is hopping around having sex with all his patrons. WRONG!

As we are inching down the freeway during rush hour Nicco halts those ideas as quickly as he stomps on the BMW's brakes. Nicco says he has seen it all. Many patrons of the bar cheat on their bfs/gfs/partners and he has held the secrets. After all, no drama, no muss. He is the Gretchen Weiners, big hair, a lot of secrets. Truthfully speaking his primary rule is, "Never date your customers." Doing so creates drama; following the rule keeps it away from YOU and your business.

But hearing and seeing it all definitely has not jaded young Nicco. He lives for his family. He lives for HIMSELF. Something that must never be forgotten and is often stressed to others by him. You have to see what you want and do it. At the moment Nicco is busy growing his business, but if a chance to date does come along he takes it. He believes that there is a one for the moment. This doesn't mean a one night stand, countless sex encounters, or random hook-ups, but that some people come into your life at one point for a certain reason. If you remain together for a long time, even better! Marriage, maybe. Nicco definitely believes in marriage with ALL the rights.

Family is important to Nicco, and one of the important things to him is being able to speak Spanish. He would love to meet someone he could sit down with and share stories all the while speaking Spanish, but even more so as a means to communicate with family. I found myself, intrigued by this thought because I am the same way. My family loves it when they meet someone I am dating and know they speak Spanish. You can relate on a whole other level.

But what is important to Nicco when it comes to love and relationships, even if he isn't dating? We all have bottom lines and deal breakers. According to Nicco, communication is the key for everything. "Talking is a must, and keeping my attention" He is always on the go, so keeping up with him is a must. Two people should support each other and be there for each other at any given moment. You have to push each other to greatness and want more out of each other, both individually and as a unit.

Sushi and Homework
After picking up his car, we ended our interview at Ra-Sushi in Huntington beach overlooking the ocean and amazing sunset. There I got to see the slowed-down version of Nicco. Now the interview was turned around on me. He delved into what I wanted.

There I was telling him about how my blog started and where I see it going in the near future. As we finished eating he asked me if I have seen the movie, The Secret. I have often seen the book, but never thought of buying it. Correction, I wanted to buy it, but I wasn't ready. His homework to me and to EVERYONE: "Watch the movie, it will change YOUR life." Rightly so, I look at Nicco and what he has accomplished and what he is aiming for, and realize everything is possible! Single, cute, sexy, intellectual, Nicco is the rare breed, but not alone in the gay community.

Single gay men doing it on their own....

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