Thursday, May 26, 2011

The ONE and lONeLY; Myth vs. Truth

The One. Soulmate. Kindred Spirit. Other Half. Twin Flame. Amicus Animae.

Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with the person you are with? Really, think about it. The age old question if we believe in the ONE. There is no right or wrong answer, the only answer there is, is the one you believe to be true. So answer honestly.

Throughout life some of us realize that we are fine and sometimes better off alone. Case in point my ex-partner. This was the constant part of our arguing. I could never understand how someone could or would want to be alone and be fine if they never found someone. Too much importance placed on a significant other, possibly? He would often tell me that if we split up he would be fine without me, and that he would continue his life as normal, even after 9 years. This might be where my own personal craziness comes in, but I could never understand how he could easily write me out of his life.

Simply put he has lived alone and without need of a significant other, so to him it was easy to pick up and continue life. I on the other hand would metaphorically die if I never found the ONE. Call me delusional, but I like to view it as traditional. Growing up, I always knew I would fall in love with someone, boy or girl (but mostly a boy), have a family, and spend the rest of my life with this one person and the life we had created together. Together as one. In it to win it. For better or worse.

One year ago, crash and burn. Our relationship ended.

Exactly where does this idea of the ONE come from? One story sticks out the most for me and it is the Ancient Greek tale of the creation of humans. Zeus had created men and women to have two of everything, two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and their heads had two faces. These bodies were strong and could conquer anything together. They would move around by circling around and using their hands. Together these beings decided to scale Mount Olympus and take over the Gods. The same Gods that had created them. Zeus could not understand why these people he created wanted to fight them, so in order to control them he decided, with the help of Apollo, that he would split them and create two separate people out of their bodies. For Zeus knew that joined together these beings were unstoppable. They were strong and capable of conquering everything.

Once split, these bodies were running around searching for their other halves. If they were able to find them they would embrace and try to fuse together again. Unfortunately, they were not able to do so. Instead, they would live in despair and begin to starve to death in sorrow.

Union as we can see has always been an important concept to human beings. We find it in many forms; through close friendships and kinships made with other people. As I mentioned before as gay men/individuals we are allotted the chance to create family as we see fit. We can reformulate the idea of partner. If this wasn't so, we wouldn't write so much about love. There wouldn't be gods and goddesses, myth stories, love poets, etc., devoted to the idea of union, and one love. To deny it would be ridiculous. To believe the myth and bring it to fruition is another story.

The truth of the matter is, you can forget everything I just said and hash it out as myth, because the only thing that ever really matters is what you FEEL. Whether it be the one for now, the one forever, or the one for's about your TRUTH.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful.

    I think it's possible that some of us aren't destined to be with our soul mates though. I love this quote from the book 'Eat Pray Love' where Richard from Texas explains soul mates:

    "…A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
    everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
    attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most
    important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
    smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever. Nah. Too painful.
    Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
    to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."

    It stuck with me. I think you can view the concept of the two halves like this ... or you can view it as I've come to in recent months, which is with a lot less cynicism.