Meeting the Parents Version 3.0

Him: My mom said, Invite Daniel over for Easter, we would love to meet him.
Me: Gulp.

Jaw dropped to the floor, was I really ready to meet the parents? Seriously, we have been seeing each other for about a month now. Mostly me staying over the nights at his place in Huntington Beach. After a great first date, nights of watching movies at his place, awkward getting to know each other's body sex, he wanted me to meet his parents. Ok, correction, even he was weary about me meeting his parents and voiced his opinion to his mother that maybe I, Daniel, didn't want to meet them just yet.

Honestly, I was flattered. After best friends, parents are the next and final step to being a serious relationship, besides buying matching towels together at Ikea and figuring out what kind of scent our house should be. The parents are the entry way to the whole family. They set the tone to the introduction, they have the final say about their baby boy. Are they ready to accept this crazy love monster blogger?

In my short lifetime, I have met two sets of parent's from my past relationships. One was my ex-girlfriend's parents. Single mother who wanted us to stay together through the high school romance, get married, and have children. Oops, I like guys. The other parents, parent I should say, I met was my ex-boyrfriend's/partner/lover. We met accidently. At the time my my partner and I were living together in an apartment. His mom, sister, niece, and nephew were down from Texas to visit. Oh and it is true, the only thing that does come from Texas are steers and queers. I digress. During this visit, I had to leave the apartment and stay with my parents...surprise my partner at the time wasn't out. To my parent's I went were the living room was now my room.

One day after school, I had to go over and feed our cat at the apartment. My ex and his family were out  at the beach, sans me. There I am grabbing the cat food, pouring it into the plate, when the door opens. My heart stops and through my mind runs the idea, do I look too gay today? Shirt not too tight. Check. Boy pants not girl pants. Check. Rainbow belt not on. Check. Perfect, I looked normal. He walks through the door with his mom. They were both smiling. I never seen him with his mom, and as a gay man who is very close with his mom, I saw the love they shared. It was beautiful. Despite the awkwardness he introduced me to his family as his good friend.

As everyone was unwinding from a long day at the beach, my ex began to cook. His mom took a seat and began folding his underwear while she asked me questions about myself. She also proceeded to tell her son that he should invite me over for dinner. Ever the southern belle, his mom was gracious, honest, and welcoming.

Ten years later, here I am being asked to meet the parents of the new guy I am dating. No awkward moment, no expectations, a simple bar-b-que where my presence was requested. Maybe it is this simple...

The (ap)PARENT Trap

Dads, moms, brothers, sisters, and every one else in between. There comes a time when we must bring the significant-other home and have them meet the parentals. Apparently, no one ever told me to never do this on family celebrations, such as your father's birthday. SURPRISE DAD! Oh, and here is your future son-in-law...and some wine! Enjoy!

My boyfriend and I, at the time, had been going out for about two months, and we both knew it was pretty serious. I spent the night at his apartment every weekend, when I wasn't in school, and sometimes I would skip school just to be in town. It was during this time that I had made some decisions for myself. I dropped out of a tech school to attend a community college and transfer over to a UC system. When I told my parents of my decision they blamed and vilified my boyfriend. My dad would tell me "No mas porque te dicen cosas bonitas en la oreja creas todo. No te ama. Es un pinche cabron!" Mouthful. Lets translate this, "Just because he whispers sweet nothings to you, you believe everything. He doesn't love you. He is a pinche cabron!" End of story, my father thought I was leaving school because of my boyfriend. I was. But I wasn't leaving school, my boyfriend taught me to want more, and he saw the potential in me to become much more. Something I lacked at the time, encouragement.

January 25th, 2002. I told my boyfriend we would be going to see my family. They were having a bar-b-que. I decided I would dismiss the fact that it was my father's birthday. After, I told him what my dad had said, he was nervous, scared, and didn't know if it would ever be a great idea to meet my parents, especially my dad. Nonetheless he went, but he took a bottle of wine.

Down the freeway we went. I had about 30 minutes to drop the fact that it was also my dad's birthday. My boyfriend was never one for much conversation, so there was a lot of quiet time and no room to spring up the fact we were going to my parents for a birthday. So, like always, I blurt it out amidst  the stillness. He shouts, "WHAT!?!"

As we exit the car in front of my parent's house, I can see the look on his face. It was a hint of terror and "Oh, you're gonna get it later." The doorbell rings and my mom answers. My mom, the most calm and inviting host, brings us in and introduces herself to my boyfriend. Great, she smiled! Then comes the family. Perfect! They are laughing with him and my nephew is already playing with him. Four family members down, next up...my dad. My boyfriend goes over, introduces himself, and says, "Happy Birthday. I brought you a little gift. Some wine." Before I knew it the bottle was open, the candles were extinguished, and my dad and boyfriend were having a great time laughing and enjoying the bottle of wine.

Maybe there is never a real perfect time to meet the parents, sometimes it comes as a surprise, and other times it is planned. Or, in some cases meeting the parent's will never happen. Just remember, when and if it does occur, this person can be a big impact on your family, so don't tread on it lightly. In all, always remember a bottle of wine!

When did you meet the parents? Tell me your story! And, when do you think is the right time, if there is such a thing, and why?