Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The (ap)PARENT Trap

Dads, moms, brothers, sisters, and every one else in between. There comes a time when we must bring the significant-other home and have them meet the parentals. Apparently, no one ever told me to never do this on family celebrations, such as your father's birthday. SURPRISE DAD! Oh, and here is your future son-in-law...and some wine! Enjoy!

My boyfriend and I, at the time, had been going out for about two months, and we both knew it was pretty serious. I spent the night at his apartment every weekend, when I wasn't in school, and sometimes I would skip school just to be in town. It was during this time that I had made some decisions for myself. I dropped out of a tech school to attend a community college and transfer over to a UC system. When I told my parents of my decision they blamed and vilified my boyfriend. My dad would tell me "No mas porque te dicen cosas bonitas en la oreja creas todo. No te ama. Es un pinche cabron!" Mouthful. Lets translate this, "Just because he whispers sweet nothings to you, you believe everything. He doesn't love you. He is a pinche cabron!" End of story, my father thought I was leaving school because of my boyfriend. I was. But I wasn't leaving school, my boyfriend taught me to want more, and he saw the potential in me to become much more. Something I lacked at the time, encouragement.

January 25th, 2002. I told my boyfriend we would be going to see my family. They were having a bar-b-que. I decided I would dismiss the fact that it was my father's birthday. After, I told him what my dad had said, he was nervous, scared, and didn't know if it would ever be a great idea to meet my parents, especially my dad. Nonetheless he went, but he took a bottle of wine.

Down the freeway we went. I had about 30 minutes to drop the fact that it was also my dad's birthday. My boyfriend was never one for much conversation, so there was a lot of quiet time and no room to spring up the fact we were going to my parents for a birthday. So, like always, I blurt it out amidst  the stillness. He shouts, "WHAT!?!"

As we exit the car in front of my parent's house, I can see the look on his face. It was a hint of terror and "Oh, you're gonna get it later." The doorbell rings and my mom answers. My mom, the most calm and inviting host, brings us in and introduces herself to my boyfriend. Great, she smiled! Then comes the family. Perfect! They are laughing with him and my nephew is already playing with him. Four family members down, next dad. My boyfriend goes over, introduces himself, and says, "Happy Birthday. I brought you a little gift. Some wine." Before I knew it the bottle was open, the candles were extinguished, and my dad and boyfriend were having a great time laughing and enjoying the bottle of wine.

Maybe there is never a real perfect time to meet the parents, sometimes it comes as a surprise, and other times it is planned. Or, in some cases meeting the parent's will never happen. Just remember, when and if it does occur, this person can be a big impact on your family, so don't tread on it lightly. In all, always remember a bottle of wine!

When did you meet the parents? Tell me your story! And, when do you think is the right time, if there is such a thing, and why?


  1. Great story! I remember when I met my ex's mom and his brothers and sisters. It was really nice. They were welcoming and even his mom considered me a daughter over the years. It could be nice.

  2. Well, depending on the boyfriend. I met my first boyfriend's parents on his birthday. I was supposed not to say anything about us, but when a boy you've never heard about comes to your not-too-manly son's birthday and your son looks at him when he's making a wish... you don't need to be very clever.

    Then I met my second boyfriend's mother before he realised he was in love, no big deal. I met his father one year later (divorced).

    And my current boyfriend's parents live in another country. Maybe next Christmas I'll meet her (he left many years ago).