Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Art of Breaking Up: Remnants of a technologically challenged heart
Emotionally, breaking-up is hard to do, but with today's technology it has become fast and efficient. It is as easy as going to the super market and checking yourself out; only you and a machine, no one else to help you out and no one to look you in the eye. People, more and more are ascribing to the idea of a relationship as a business transaction. No more feelings involved, void of any real contact. Is this healthy? Better yet, doesn't the other person warrant a little more respect, don't you?
What happened to the days when people would meet up, discuss their relationship, and figure it isn't working out? You would sit around, discuss the pros and cons of your life together, however long it was, and come to a mutual decision. Face to face, in living color.
One of my good friends was at work one day, trekking along as usual, looking for the best model to photograph. He is an up and coming designer in the LA area, great guy, self-proclaimed Gaysian, with the most adorable fiance. They would text back and forth throughout the day, due to their busy schedules, when one day a notice on Facebook popped-up. The dreaded little bing that would cause more drama than Charlie Sheen picking up another cracked-out hooker and landing on TMZ. The post read, I don't want to do this anymore. Not to mention, along with the post came the dreaded status change from in a relationship with to single. It's like they say if it isn't on Facebook, it isn't official. Without skipping a beat, as soon as it hit the Facebook walls of all his friends (mutual friends can be good and bad) the comment thread began.
Note to self: having separate friends can be a great thing. Mutual friends can become hard when a break up ensues.
Is this new method of awkward social media breaking-up becoming the norm? Have people really decided as a collective that Facebook is real life and the same as communicating in person? Besides Facebook, you also have Twitter, a communication space that allows you to say anything at 140 characters or less. Short, concise, and to the point. Imagine, a status update being tweeted to thousands of your Twitter followers, stating he no longer wants to go out with you. Break-ups have moved from becoming private to public. Going back to the idea, can a break-up ever occur peacefully, or does there always have to be a drama-filled environment to cause the situation to transpire? Pushing it out to a public forum does make it non-retractable, unnegotiable, unresonable to ever get back together.
Breaking-up can now be shared with thousands of people. You can find sympathy from all parts of the world. A, hey you are going to be alright, from Africa, or, don't worry there are better men out there and you deserve much more, from Canada.
These new forums for breaking-up have created a new type of a guy: the technologically savvy heart-breaker. Along with that, they want to over-communicate everything you two do together and there is a picture for everything, a status update for Facebook, and a Twitter message of the things you say. Social media has normalized his behavior, making him unaware of his awkward breaking-up strategy when it has to be done face-to-face.
There we were, laying in each others arms after I cummed inside his mouth. When he says that maybe this relationship will not go anywhere else, and, he feels like the other guy. Previously we had other issues (which were written about in an earlier post) but nothing prepared me for this. I responded with, there was no need to get me naked to break up with me, why did you do this? I wanted to get a last taste, was the response.
At this point, a Twitter or Facebook status post would have been better than hearing that.