Tuesday, April 19, 2011
An Official "Proper" Date: The Date, the Wine, the Best Friend
Post hook-up, semi-quasi first date, and two weeks later, there we are sitting in his car, listening to Depeche Mode filling up for gas. Little did he know my musical taste goes past the Britney Spears and Lady Gaga facade I put on. Note to self: Singing in the car is always fun, so have fun, it might make him smile and think you are some what normal.
We decided that we would go on an official "proper" date. He asked me out and said he would plan it. Yes people it is quite that easy! If you like a guy, ask him out, plan a day, a good ol' fashioned date. We drove down the winding PCH road leading from Huntington Beach over to Laguna Beach. Sorry, LC was not available for a shameless plug, oh wait her show is no longer on, along with her clothing line. I digress. We drove into the main part of Laguna Beach. The weather was beautiful, the sun was out, and Laguna Canyon Winery was closed. He had planned to do wine tasting, but unbeknownst to him the place we were looking for wasn't there, or so we thought. We drove down a bit more to the other location right across from the Laguna Beach Playhouse. There we found out that we just didn't look hard enough. We are men, gay men, we don't ask for directions. We have gaydar, we know EVERYTHING!
We did a wine tasting, chatted some more, asked the important questions. Do you like seafood? My answer, "I don't like any type of fish in my mouth." He learned that I love to read Jim Morrison's poetry, while sitting in the bath tub smoking a cigar. I learned he is family oriented, loves Burberry, and his favorite musical is Les Miserables. The date was going perfect. He is sincere, honest, and fun. After some wine tasting we headed over to get some food at a nice little restaurant with a picket white fence called The Cottage. It all seemed surreal, the last time I was treated out to such a day was with my ex. Most guys I have dated previously thought staying in to see a movie and fucking afterward was a first date. Of course, I also hooked up with the guy I am dating previously...nothing follows a plan.
Honestly the day could have been spent out at the beach all day with him and it would have been fine. Then the phone call...his friend, best friend, is out and about and wants to know if we all want to get together. My date asks me if I want to...before I know it YES is coming out of my mouth.
Ok, to some, meeting friends is not a big deal. To me, it is. Especially meeting the best friend. That alone means a lot. The best friend can make or break you. Meeting the friend after the first official date, on the same night, MAJOR! I once introduced a guy, I thought I was seeing seriously, to my friends right after my ltr not realizing the Facebook repercussions. I was taking it slow this time. But, he was comfortable with me meeting his best friend.
Off we went to meet him at one of the local bars in Orange County, Tin Lizzie Saloon. It is funny, because I am not shy. I talk a lot. I talk for a living. Well, I also lie for one, but that's a whole other story. As soon, as I met the friend I clammed up. For the sake of not sounding stupid I figured to keep my answers minimal but still filled with my character so he didn't think I was bland. Thank goodness the music was up a bit and Britney Spears was drowning me out...along with the Stella I was having. We all decided at some point to head out to Long Beach that night. I needed more drinks to loosen up, STAT.
Bar hopping we went and then to a sex shop. Isn't that how your dates go? Sitting at one of the bars, the best friend excuses himself, my date turns around, and says he likes you.
Relief. I explained to him that I felt I was being rude and that normally I am not shy. He understood how much importance I put on meeting the best friend. Thank goodness. I thought I was just a crazy gay man on his own, like always.
Best friends mean a lot. Especially to gay men. Best friends, or the circle of friends we make, become a family. I am not talking about the friend who leaves you in the middle of the club to randomly hook up and leave you without a ride. The friends I am talking about are the ones who are there for you when a family member passes away (even a canine family member), when you lose your job, when your relationship is coming to an end, when the guy you allowed to come into your life rips your heart out and leaves you helpless/hopeless without a way to love again.
No wonder I place so much importance on best friends and what they think. They are looking after our best interests.
This is to all the best friends out there, most importantly my best friend Bryan. The sweetest gentle lion. My Eeyore.