Wednesday, March 16, 2011

the Tops and Bottoms of Dating: Part 9

1. If you need to correct your dates pronunciation of a particular food he is ordering, please do it nicely and not in front of the waiter. Ask him first and then proceed to correct, if necessary. It's not your fault you took French for 5 years. Coq au vin.

2. Don't attempt to order the food for him because he can't pronounce it.

3. It is alright to leave an awkward silence or not talk at all during dinner. Enjoy your food and then ensue with 20 questions.

4. Meeting the friends on a first date is daunting. Make sure to look your best, be on your best behavior, and smell good, because you know the verdict will be up after you leave. Sometimes it will come during the date. Be prepared.

5. Stay away from ordering drinks and allowing the bartender to be creative. If he sees you two are nervous, his mission is to fuck you up. Before you know it, you both are naked, making out, and having sex. Maybe. And, that does not a first date make.

6. Setting up a date should not be a task. If you and he want to, then you WILL do it. Make some time, be spontaneous. You never know, you might have fun, even if it means being tired for work the next day.

7. If a guy says he just wants to hang out and not date, it means just that, hang out. The difference is one requires too much commitment while the other is casual and if he/you has time. But not like a hook-up.

8. After dating someone seriously and ending it, don't stop being who you are. If you two still remain friends, chat, have fun, don't hide things because you think you are protecting his feelings. In the end, it makes it worse.

9. Sharing pictures, not the naked ones, just in your underwear, before a date or hang out is alright. Right?

10. It's fine to talk dirty or slutty (*my computer wants to correct slutty to smutty*), that doesn't mean you are one.


  1. You've created so many rules when it comes to dating that If you actually followed them all you will have killed all spontaneity. But I happen to know that you don't, so carry on! And I didn't take or speak French (even though I am a real Frenchman otherwise :-P) and had to tell you that you were pronouncing Coq Au Vin wrong. But it doesn't matter because nobody orders or even serves that shit anyway. Your probably ordering a small pizza and salad or chicken salad sandwich.

  2. Ummmm correction I know how to pronounce it! B!tch xo

  3. Haha I politely disagree

  4. it's pronounced kawk aw van

    Hukd on phonix wurkd for me!