Thursday, March 24, 2011

Facebook, Myspace, Bed-Space; Finding the nook in his bed

After dating someone for a few weeks or in some cases a couple of days, he asks you to stay the night. It's perfect! You have had some great dates, thought provoking conversations, and some hot make-out sessions. The natural next step would be spending the night, right? I know what some of you are thinking; but you slept with him already. True, that doesn't mean having sex happens at night, only, or that I or you stay the night after having sex. My natural inclination is to not stay the night after having sex (breakfast the next day makes it too bf like). This has nothing to do with treating it like a hook-up, but his and my sleeping habits.

You can find anyone on Facebook and Myspace, but the hardest thing to find is that nook, that space where you are allowed to sleep in his bed. Not even Google Maps can tell you where to find that! He is use to tossing and turning, snoring, and sleeping with a Jets football shirt and matching bottoms on because he sweats during the night. Lets face it people, when you are asleep, your body DOES whatever it wants. YOU have no control of it. Some people sweat, others need pillows in between their knees, while others don't want to be touched at all.

One of my biggest reasons to not spending the night is finding the nook. Everyone has a spot in the bed they sleep on. Some people sleep on the left, others on the right, some people need the whole bed. If I do stay the night at someone's house I always ask where they sleep and what they like and don't like. Yes, I overanalyze everything! I just want to make sure that I am not being too cuddly, spooning the incorrect way, or me sleeping naked makes him feel uncomfortable. The first stay over should be perfect. I don't snore, I don't move...yeah sometimes I just don't sleep. The 4AM alarm goes off, as Ke$ha fills the dark silence, for him to get ready. I pop out of bed, look for my clothes, find my underwear on the other side, and make my way home for 2 whole hours of sleep.

What I have learned is to allow them, if it is their place, to control the situation. If he pulls you in closer to cuddle then go ahead. Put your arm around his chest, snuggle up right under his neck. When he decides to pull away, it's alright, maybe he is too hot. Or you are creating a pool of sweat on his side, and he thinks you are gross. That's usually when I turn around myself and sleep in fetal position. Of course, with in an hour I wake up to him humping my back side and my underwear missing. But, I digress.

Him: "So do you want to spend the night?" Me: "Sure! I love first dates!"


  1. I never thought about this! I had two dates with the same guy. I spent the night at his house, but nothing happened. He kissed my cheek twice and I never heard back from him! What did I do wrong?

  2. omg I know what you mean! We start to question what did we do wrong? Nothing, trust me. Did you text, call, email him after the second time? If so, what did he respond? Or did he respond?

    These are things I always ask myself. But maybe he was looking for nothing more than a cuddle, or well a quick bang. And if you didn't put out, he lost interest. Whatever the case may be, you didn't do anything wrong. You did what you wanted and were honest to yourself. This is why I ask up front, what are you looking for, and don't give me some bullshit answer that you think I want to hear. That way, I know what to expect.

  3. Gay guys always tell you what you want to hear. Then they disappear. Maybe he wasn't that into you and he felt obligated to hang out with you the second time. Thats the kind of shit that always is in the back of my head. And why do guys hit you up online, tell you they think your great, blah, blah, blah, then go awol completely?

  4. It's not just gay guys, it's any type of guy. Straight, gay, bisexual, or anything sexual. Some men will say and do what is needed to get what they want. I say question everything, I know it kills the romance and love of it, but hey I am not going to be taken a fool!

  5. goes for women too. Guilty as charged.