the Holi-F**K(DATE)

OMG! Thanksgiving has passed and I have no one in sight to help me pass the holidays! Ok, I know what you are thinking...you have friends, you have family. Those don't count, because those can't give you what you really want. Sex and head every day through the holidays! Well friends can, if they are friend's with benefits, fuck friends, or you just have a really screwed up friendship so you fuck.

So where and what should I look for in a Holi-Fuck(Date)!?! I know I know, I sound like a fucking ad for Adam4Adam, Manhunt, Gay.com, etc etc etc. But what other place do you know of that is free and you don't have to pay for in order to date, which to me sounds like prostitution! What is ManCrunch...the new Heidi Fleiss! I digress. If you don't have a profile then get to! Just remember be honest and have a fucking picture, it is 2010 almost 2011.

Mr. Holi-Fuck(DATE) should be cute/hot/dorky, whatever your likes are. He should be a guy you don't mind spending every waking moment with because lets face it, it's freezing cold during the holidays and you want someone to sit in front of the fire with while you drink hot chocolate with marshmallows while sitting in your holiday pajamas and Santa Claus hats (then afterwards sex it up). He should also be someone fun, who would want to go out and dance the night away. He should be someone you wouldn't mind bringing to those family holiday functions, or the corporate holiday parties. You NEVER want to show up alone at those events, because then you have to deal with the horrid single people who are there and you have no interest in. Plus you shouldn't be dating 1) a family member 2) someone you work with.

Realization/breakthrough...Mr. Holi-Fuck(DATE) is a relationship waiting to happen! He is the man we want to spend more than just the holidays with (3months). He is the cute, sexy guy we want to roll over to in the morning on Christmas Day without wanting to chop our arm off because we got too drunk the night before and met some random guy at the local gay bar. He is it, the holy mother fucking grail of hook-ups! (Read this F**K Bud/Soulmate)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!