Monday, November 22, 2010
F**K Buddy/Soulmate 101
I was having a great conversation with one of my other single friends last week about the defining line of fuck buddy and soulmate/ltr/serious bf. Exactly, when can a fuck bud cross over and become something serious or have we made up our minds about them and only see them as a throbbing piece of meat?
Seriously, some fuck buds actually have a brain, have a job, a car, are good looking, have ambitions...isn't that a catch!?! We kept chatting, and we noticed one common thread, from the get go we already placed them in one section depending on their pictures/profile. If we met them in person, we place them into that category depending on what you talk about or what his opening line/bottom deal is. Poor guy doesn't even have a chance, he is being judged from the beginning.
I feel like I am an equal opportunist, which is why I fall for the fuck bud! I give everyone the fair chance to prove themselves and what they want, or the ability to change their mind of what they want. Maybe I am too flexible, or not flexible enough. My friend suggested that it is all a grey/gray line and that there is no clear black and white when it comes to these two.
He said that in GAY WORLD (what is this Mean Girls) we live our lives in the grey. That some choose not to live in black and white, and if they do, they always break the rules of what is black and white. He said a mouthful! It's like commit-ophobes he said. The ones that don't want to commit really do, they just have an internal fear that they will fuck it up, opposed to the ones who want to commit and do fuck it up.
Think about it, there is no real difference between someone you just want to hook up with or someone you want to spend your life/3months with. You want to have sex with both of them. You want to see both of them, of course one more than the other. You don't always want to talk to both, hey sometimes you need your alone time. Ultimately the difference between the two are CHOICE! How you two choose to view the relationship/fuck. (in another post to come, aren't relationship usually anyways one-sided; one person always loves the other more.)
I say give the fuck bud a chance...if he wants. You never know what can happen. But in all, always be honest from the beginning of what you want or don't want. Don't say I love you because you think you will have a personal play/slave/master thing at your disposal, say it because you mean it and are ready for all that it entails. Once again I digressed...