the Real Man Behind Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds. I merely say the name and gay men begin to salivate and my interview can end there. His pictures alone make gay men stand still; add a bathtub and some bubbles and we are all set. At least that's how my guest for this post got his idea for Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds along with his burnt Kraft Mac n' Cheese. Thomas, the man behind the ever so hot, yet thought provoking tongue-in-cheek photoblog, is not so hidden away as we thought. When I first saw his tumblr, I thought to myself, who is the smart man behind this blog (aside from being distracted by Ryan)? Exactly how many men, gay men, are out there that read Foucault, Deleuze, and Judith Butler...and make it look sexy? One.

Thomas McLean, brings you queer theory the best way he knows how, with Ryan Reynolds. He tackles issues of homophobia, biological determinists, and shows you how to rearrange Sarah Palin to read as anal parish. Part comedian, maybe due to his upbringing, he presents queer theory with a smack of bitchiness...because you know, as a gay man, which we are, that is the only way we know to respond to everyday occurrences, and bad outfits on the street. Take a stroll through Thomas' world of Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds (beware, Ryan Reynolds tends to come out and talk amidst the interview), have a good laugh, learn a little bit to have a REAL conversation while you sip martinis at the hottest new gay club while listening to the loud beats of We Found Love.

Interview with Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds

Boymeetsboyblog: People know you as the guy behind Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds,
I assume a guy (insert own queer theory here), but tell me a bit about yourself? Pretend this is a speed dating segment…go!

Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds: My name is Thomas McLean. I'm the sole creator of QSWRR. I'm 31 and I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I have never taken a Queer Theory class, shockingly, though I do read quite a bit of it. I graduated with a degree in Psychology and Sociology at Oglethorpe University and obtained a Master of Science in Applied Statistics at Purdue University, which officially classifies me as a professional dork. I write short fiction and work at a non-profit (Big Brothers Big Sisters) because I want to spread the love as much as possible. I have a gay cat named Sampson. He is truly gay. He used to hump our neighbor's tomcat all the time. I also bake and have a 60% success rate in the kitchen. I tried to make gay brownies with pink triangle icing once and almost burned my house down. They truly were flaming brownies.

My mother was a stand up comedian and my father was an accountant. It really does explain everything. I came out in 9th grade in high school, took a guy to the prom (13 years ago), and graduated valedictorian. It kept life interesting.

BMBB: Why Ryan Reynolds for the face of your project? Granted he is hot, has a six-pack you want to rub your face on, and a pretty smile…how did he make the cut against all the other hot guys out there?

QSWRR: It all started, some years ago, when I watched the horrible remake of The Amityville Horror. I was so bored watching it that I was going back and forth to the TV, doing little odd chores here and there. One of those was making dinner - a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese, to be precise. I had made the mac and cheese, and returned to the living room to finish watching. A couple seconds later, I looked up and saw Ryan Reynolds in the bathtub. It wasn't that he was amazing hot - we all know he is - but the fact that he was in a bathtub, looking emo and sad and scared, was something that just convinced me of the following: I could use the power of Ryan and the bathtub to promote queer theory and gay rights. It's truly the perfect medium. This thought was immediately distracted as the entire bowl of mac and cheese  dumped into my lap. Ryan Reynolds made me forget about mac and cheese - a truly monolithic accomplishment. It is then that I realized that if you ever want to push an agenda, push it with a picture of Ryan in a bathtub. It will work for anything - except for, perhaps, anything coming out of the Tea Party's collective chocolate starfish.

BMBB: Does Ryan know about this project?

QSWRR: I wish. Maybe he does. Maybe he would love to discuss Foucault with me over coffee. Or while on a ferris wheel. Or on a yacht.

I should quickly say that I don't ever really crush on celebrities. I used to have a huge crush on the fat one from N*sync. Especially when he had red hair. It feels good to finally admit that. So Ryan is truly the second, maybe along with Joe Manganiello (Alcide from True Blood). 

BMBB: What made you come up with your project, Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds?

QSWRR: The direct influence was the Feminist Ryan Gosling, which is still going strong. I then realized that there was a significant opportunity to do this with Queer Theory as well. With Ryan. In a bathtub.

BMBB: If you could describe gay culture in one ultimate queer theory, what would it be?

QSWRR: Here's the thing about gay culture that is hard to wrap your head around: We've barely scratched the surface of gay culture. There are so many different, unique gay people out there that sometimes I wonder if there ever truly is a gay culture. So I would say, in reference to queer theory, that everything is relative. The world would be a much different place if everyone awoke tomorrow and knew everyone who was gay, or bi, or trans, etc. The impact of any subculture - including that of gay culture - is never fully realized until every person who's played a part in that impact is known.  We have gay firefighters, gay accountants, gay sewer maintenance workers, gay bankers, gay clowns. We are everywhere yet are, in some instances, nowhere. We're not allowed into a full legal framework of rights. We're not allowed to have quiet funerals in some cases, due to hateful, spiteful bigots. There's so much we do, and our reach is so impactful, yet we never get to experience that impact sometimes. So it's also a paradox.

So, in essence: Queer theory is everything and nothing you think it is.

Questions for Ryan:

BMBB: How does Ryan view dating, relationships, and sex?

Ryan Reynolds: Hey Boi. Never date the biggest selling female rockstar of the 90s. I oughtta know.

Relationships are like a green lantern.  You shape them how you want to, but have to be careful of what you're getting into.

Sex is like eating cupcakes on a cloud with puppies.

BMBB: Is he frustrated with the idea of normalizing every type of relationship or mirroring heterosexual relations, or is he more into nonidentifying who and what he loves?

RR: Boi, I've been strictly with women, but I must say, the attention I get in green spandex is an honor.  You should never deny a possibility for love. 

BMBB: If Ryan could define his status as single, married, complicated, etc, what would it be? Why?

RR: Post-modernly entangled.  Because it sounds pretentious but really isn't.

BMBB: Does Ryan ever feel like he is living in a homonormative world instead? One that is constructed by the A-List, Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, and RuPaul’s Drag Race. If so, how does he break free from these socially gay constructed ideas? Does he align with the ideology of Lady Gaga?

RR: Lady Gaga is an interesting one. Just this morning I was on my treadmill reading some Judith Butler and "Edge of Glory" came on and I decided to put on my Nyan cat costume I wore for Halloween and just gayed the whole place up, singing along. I guess you could say I align in a weird way.

The thing about a heteronormative world is that, boi, if we accept the assertion that gay identity is a thoroughly modern phenomenon, then so is heteronormativity as defined by self identity.  So both things are pretty new.

I've reached out and played a role of a gay man - I seemed to be naturally good at it - and of course, there are just so many things ingrained in certain cultural aspects that it's impossible not for them to be heteronormative in nature.

Breaking such social constructions is difficult but possible:  regular bouts of ankle tanning, organic oatmeal cookie eating, and making disparaging comments at the Radical Right all help to break the mold.

BMBB: What are Ryan Reynolds top 3 dating rules?

RR:

1.  Know the damn definition of 'ironic.'

2.  Respect the scruff

3.  Smile in the face of rejection.  Or throw a hardbound cover of Deluze and Guattari at the rejector.

Art, Photo Blogs, Guys...oh my!

As a gay man, which I am, I love art...but mostly underground artists. I had the opportunity to reach out and get two short interviews with two of my favorite people. I know what you are thinking, where are the dates, where are the boys/men/one-night-stands, hey sometimes we have to remember there are other things going on in the world and in my life. Also, this is BOYmeetsBOY (sometimes men), where we meet new people and other guys, and I am introducing you to two very important people making a change in the community at large through their art and ideas.

Keep coming back in the next couple of weeks as I introduce you to the guy behind Queer Studies with Ryan Reynolds and the visionary behind HOMO RIOT. LEARN.KNOW.EMPOWER.

**the Tops and Bottoms of dating: art shows are great places to meet people of like interest. Who knows maybe you can meet the guy of your dreams, share your love for queer theory together over coffee in front of a fireplace, shirtless, and discuss the ramifications of the heteronormative and Foucault. If anything maybe meet a hot, scruffy gay guy, and have a one-night-stand (wear a condom!).

So Your Best Friend's Boyfriend Doesn't Like You: 10 ways to not be a bitch about it

The typical conversation between two gay men who are meeting for the first time always ends up discussing [gay] drama and how they avoid being a part of it. It has always been my experience that the people who say that constantly are usually the ones creating it or vying for the drama to come their way so they can add their two cents to the conversation at hand. After all, we all know, as gay men, we come with a manual on "how to throw your 2 cents into a conversation while adding a back handed comment in a bitchy high pitched voice... with two finger snaps." Here goes, I don't do drama, especially gay circle drama. We often hear about six degrees of separation; in the gay community that degree is far less if not null and nonexistent. Somehow in a round about way, you slept with your best friend's ex ex boyfriend who was also sleeping with your ex boyfriend who is somehow connected through another gay guy living in Florida who both of you slept with at one time and not together or while dating each other. Lost yet? Yeah it's kind of like that.

Recently, through conjecture, I have figured that the boyfriend of a friend of mine, does not like me. Could it be the fact that he back handedly insulted me in front of his current boyfriend and my good friend. Maybe, or is it that I stood there and said nothing while the insult was being dished and was good hearted and genuinely wanted to get to know him. That's when I thought to myself, omg I am in gay drama. How does one deal with this certain situation, especially if you see each other casually, and you don't want to be a bitch? Because genuinely, you don't know why he doesn't like you. Better yet, why does it matter? It doesn't... but seeing that he is the boyfriend of a friend, I want to be the better person and continue my niceness. Here are 10 ways to not be a bitch:

1. At first meeting always apologize if you did anything rude or you felt you might have offended him. Let's get the past out of the way and start fresh. It's not your fault you don't wave to strangers while strolling through the mall...note to self: wave to everyone.

2. Invite said friend and boyfriend over for dinner with other friends. A peace treaty and proper introduction. Always have a buffer, especially if you have a volatile personality and are prone to yell out and say mean things. This isn't a Real Wives of New Jersey Reunion.

3. If attending an event/affair/hang-out and said person will be there, make sure to not be mean or say anything that would make you LOOK like the bitch. Be genuine, be nice, try and get to know him...even if he decides to do otherwise... or call you a slut.

4. At the end of anything, always offer a hug, be nice and civil...after all you never thought poorly of the person or said anything. Don't worry if he offers his hand for a shake instead...maybe he doesn't do hugs and kisses... like some gay men [me].

5. You are all connected via Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Mobli, or Google+ and all comments are shared.  Things will be said... never comment back, throwing in your two cents; after all it doesn't matter. People will say mean and negative things, you aren't for everyone's pleasure. Instead say the proper thanks to other people and gloss over the said negative comment... after all his boyfriend and your friend are also mutual friends.

6. Instead of bitching in a public forum or posting anything, talk to your friends. Let them know and get their insight. Before you know it, they are the ones posting the bitchy comments for you...that way you don't have to. Snaps.

7. The logical thing would be to talk to your friend, after all he is your friend. If he hasn't noticed the behavior, he is probably busy or shuts off when the boyfriend is being a bitch, or better yet, your friend has manners. Rather than going to him about his boyfriend's issues with you, I say leave it alone, and don't bother. Continue your friendship with your friend, and choose not to bring up his boyfriend.

8. Continue your pact of kindness to yourself at all times because you never know when you might see each other again... maybe at a fashion show for another dear friend. This time, take caution and extend your hand to give a shake, since that is his modus operandi, for fear of upsetting the god of gay etiquette. And smite he will, with a bad hair day and nothing cute to wear.

9. In all matter, never feed fuel to the flame... didn't your mom teach you better? If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Instead, if need be, delete their profile, that way you no longer can see their comments. Life is that easy...until they decide to make an account with a fake name.

10. You have been nice, you have been civil, and you refuse to say anything negative... good for you! If all else fails, and the Mean Girls attitude continues and you are looking over your shoulder every visit making sure daggers aren't being thrown or a drink won't be flung at you, or that you will be thrown into a pool while wearing your brand new Dolce and Gabbana shirt, take a note from the gay man's manual...and be the bitch...blog it!

As a gay man...which I am

photograph by Tim Vintege www.michaelvintege.com

No one ever said being a gay man in 2011 would be easy. Your mom could never have prepared you enough to know everything you MUST do in order to survive in the vicious circle of catty gay men snapping their fingers as they vogue to Lady Gaga (the new Madonna). Instead we watch Mean Girls to learn how to be a teenage girl with too much attitude, while learning that being sexually promiscuous can and will get you an STI (because that is what we are calling them now) at some point or even mono. Yes, that still can happen people. Protect your lips, protect your mouth...you don't want to get herpes on your mouth, do you?

As a gay man, which I am, there are many things we must keep up with. Making sure that we know the most current pop culture news: Beyonce is pregnant, do you think she will continue to dance and drop it down to the ground? Did you hear the latest A-List dish? I can't believe Rodiney is thinking he is bisexual. Then you MUST keep up with the ever changing music landscape by owning every dance track possible by David Guetta; and make Britney Spears your queen, regardless of sexual disease outbreaks or unplanned head shaving. It's difficult trying to keep up with all the celebs just so we can have something to talk about during our chat in the bar, while we drink our over priced martini (which forces us into a leg out to the side, fragily holding your glass stance), and decide that this place is tired (probably because we have slept with every guy in it) and that if I have to see another guy in the same pair of Diesel jeans I will have to commit denim suicide. Bartender, where's my appletini?

Every couple of weeks we must take ourselves to the nearest nail shop and get our mani's and pedi's. As we try to explain to the poor quite shy Vietnamese girl that I only want buff and shine, we rant and rave about how we went out last night and how the Austin of the bunch created all this drama by bringing the bitch we hate most. Doesn't he get it, after all no one likes him and he tries too hard...harder than us. All the while the Vietnamese girl looks over to the other girl and begins talking, probably about how she can't handle another bitchy queen, *snaps*. While we are there, we figure, clean up the eyebrows, but remember we just want them cleaned up not the sharpie eyebrow look...we are men remember!

For some gay men the upkeep is worse, having to wax the back, the chest, the legs...and dare I say it, the butt hole. Looking like an underage prepubescent boy is all the rage, the smoother the better. Besides do you really want a guy to go down on you and feel like he is actually with a guy? Come on be a little more masculine feminine. The butch/femme dichotomy rears it's ugly head. Who am I? Wahhhhh.

If that wasn't enough, we then have to decide on the MOST fierce haircut, the faux hawk. I want it short on the sides, but not too short, and I love that my hair is high...the higher the better. If you can, could you please add a blonde streak in it to give it that, I am really cool and EDGY look but at the same time I can carry it over if I want to date a guy who wants to be my next sugar daddy? Can you make that happen? The girl, it's always a girl because to let another gay man cut our hair would be bad...he might be jealous of me and cut my hair badly so I look hideous... continues to cut my hair while I tell her how dating is horrible. That every guy I have gone out with is the atypical gay guy I don't like, and why is it so hard to find Mr. Right? I just want to meet someone who I can go out with, have a great time, and then go home and have sex with. Thanks! My hair looks AMAZE-balls. 

Meanwhile, we have to remember to check the latest Vogue, Elle, and don't forget Details, in order to know what to wear. As a gay man, which I am, we must keep up to date with who the latest designer is and, whether Father Karl Lagerfeld has put out another stellar line for Chanel. Is it September yet? Did we miss the the September Issue, oh no! revoke my gay card. Knowing the latest fashion trend is a MUST, we can't be seen with the same scarf wrapped around our neck during the middle of summer because we have the urge to be current and look cool, you know LA cool, but not put together fedora hat cool cool. Diesel jeans. Check. True Religions. Check. Tight t-shirt or preferably shirt with a logo all gay guys would know and be envious because I paid more for a shirt than I should have even if it was made in Turkey or China. Check. Don't I LOOK cute? Fierce, girl, fierce!  

Then off we go to the gym. Or as WE call it church. As a gay man, which I am, I must work out every day or at least every other day, in order to show that I do care about my body and that I too can be a go-go boy. Besides, how can I get a guy if I look like an average American, over weight. Men don't talk to you for your brains or where you went to school. Physical attraction IS always first. Plus, we have to look good together as we are walking down the street, or going into the club, making guys wish they were HOT like us (but in reality we have nothing in common other than our sexual drive, that we met on adam4adam, and the fact that we are both scared to commit to a REAL relationship, so instead we use the word boyfriend loosely, but what we really mean is we sleep with other guys...because well look at us, we are beautiful, I can't commit, men want me). I want to be skinny and beautiful, like the girls in the magazines. I too want to be a size zero with a beautiful chest and ass that makes guys want to slap it every time I go into the bathroom at the local bar.


So when you feel life is getting you down, Grindr isn't loading, and you hear that being in a third world country doesn't mean not having Gucci, Louis, Fendi, Prada, or that it is the adoption agency most hailed by Angelina Jolie...just remember your day has just begun and worrying about what to wear is the MOST important thing, it can make or break the day. xo